Finding Home

For most of us, home is a place that we can name immediately. For others it's not so clear. There are times in our lives when our sense of home becomes uncertain. It's usually a major life event that causes us to uproot and begin the difficult process of finding another place to settle in.  What is at stake when we do this? What does home mean to us?

I've had good reason to ponder these questions over several years. Major life upheavals have resulted in me having to move away from the home I'd created and built precious memories in.
After my divorce there was a devastation that left me rootless. I drifted like a floating log in a stream of events that pushed me forward. 
It's true that once you've lost something you're acutely aware of what it meant to you. I longed for my home and believe it or not, doing the dishes while the vibrant pink blooms of the Crepe Myrtle, I'd planted, nodded to me through the window. Living in a one bedroom flat, I keenly missed my family, running in and grabbing a banana from the two tier fruit bowl that once lived on my kitchen table. The emotional pain  was intense but I needed to start again.
When I found this cottage (pictured above) I sensed a place I could begin to recreate the home I'd lost.  I wanted to get back a family home that would be my sanctuary, safe, sure and filled with love. This little cottage with it's faded charm felt like the perfect place. In doing her up and bringing her back to new I might also patch up myself and begin to feel new again.
My instincts were correct. I've had family birthdays and Christmas dinners here, the house has been painted and the kitchen and bathrooms updated. New floors and curtains. She's so very pretty. She's my sanctuary and is filled with love. My new partner comes to stay and is loved by my parents and children. But now we have decided to make a life together and I need to say goodbye to my home once more. This time it's a happier reason, to begin living with the man I love.
I know I'll be sad about leaving my little cottage but I'm so grateful to her that she's helped me heal. She's also taught me that I can do it again. When Sam and I find a house to share, I'll plant a Crepe Myrtle in the back yard and hang some pretty new curtains. Then we'll have a house warming and make it feel like home with new memories of happy times with family and friends. I'll have a new sanctuary to retreat to, but I won't be alone, I'll have Sam there with me.
​​