Getting Married for the Second Time

The other night Sam and I spoke to the celebrant who'll be marrying us. We also made an appointment for our first meeting. The reality that I'm getting married again has suddenly set in.

Not only do I need to start thinking about what I want to have included in our ceremony, but what to wear! Just kidding, but really, I thought I had months before I needed to do this but we have brought forward our wedding to the middle of this year so we can travel in October. It's close to crunch time regarding some key decisions.

We became engaged last October and I posted our proposal story in November. Back then I thought I had twelve months to plan our wedding but that has been slashed in half.

It isn't just the practical side of things that has hit me, but the feelings around being a mature bride and getting married for the second time have also snapped into sharp focus.

I remember the first time I got married. I was a different woman at age twenty four. Naive but full of hope and romantic ideas about happily ever after. I can't help feeling some sadness about how that hope was stripped away and I found myself alone after 25 years of trying so hard and feeling like I'd failed.

I'm sad for her, that young hopeful, naive woman who tried so very hard to make the dream last beyond it's time, but I'm grateful that she learned a lot and has become the fifty seven year old woman I am today. It's wonderful but surprising that at my age, I'm getting married for the second time.

I've got a more realistic approach this time around. Sam and I have been together for five years and lived together for two of those. We can make this commitment knowing that there aren't any guarantees but that we each have relationships experience. We have learned what works and know ourselves and what we each need.
Being compatible is a very big deal. Like a jigsaw, the pieces are all different shapes but fit together to make a full picture.

Second time marriage is about commitment and caring. We want to continue sharing our lives. It's the marriage I want, not just the wedding. Of course that will be beautiful because I want to say those words of love and intention for our relationship to Sam, and hear him say them to me. I want us to be dressed up and enjoy feeling this special moment. I want the people I love to be nearby supporting and witnessing our union, our loving commitment to our future lives together.

There are no guarantees, but who would do anything if they needed that to take a chance in life. No one would ever write a book or create anything if they needed a guarantee. This is my second chance at a loving marriage, and I'm so taking it.

Dora Bramden writes heart-melting, passionate romance.

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